indian 'newsmakers' make me go ha ha hee hee hoo hoo

Indian ‘newsmakers’ never cease to amaze this Subject. Sample a couple of quotes from PTI stories (Ctrl C-ed and V-ed -- lowercased and all):

# Delhi Chief secretary s reghunathan called for a campaign to make capital the “most civilised, considerate and compassionate city” before the commonwealth games 2010 to be held here. “We have to bring in a tremendous change in the behavioural pattern of delhiites,” reghunathan said.

(The man, by the way, talking at some godknowswhat seminar organized by CII on March 22, and I almost fell off my chair reading the line. Is the man serious, is he joking, or is he seriously joking? Alas, that’s an answer only ‘civilised Delhiites’ can provide… after may be a few hundred years of metamorphosis)

# Dravid did not think that India had lost to a second-string England team which was without five key players. “They were always a competitive side. We were beaten by a better team,” he said.

(That, of course, is the Indian deewar. Pray, does he have any inkling how “better” that opposition would have been with those ‘five key players’. Does he realize he sounds like a 24-carat imbecile in his attempted attempt [no typo, this] to sound a true blue braveheart Aussie like his ‘guru Greg’, as the desi channels love to put it?)

Some more Dravidspeak:
# Dravid was not too critical at the way some of the batsmen threw away their wickets today, saying it happened under pressure. “I thought they chose the wrong option. But this happens under pressure,” he explained.

(And pray, when will ‘some of the batsmen’, who have played more Tests between them than the whole England team put together, ever learn to adapt to pressure? And how come the England bowlers did not buckle under that same pressure — even Shaun Udal, a 37-yr-old who in today’s cricketing parlance should play cricket with his kids in the kitchen garden in real pajamas but for some weird reason killing the Deewar’s men softly with his spin.)